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Sanity and Success Episode 9: Creating‌ ‌Your‌ ‌Own‌ ‌Balance‌ ‌Through‌ ‌Alignment‌

Jan 02, 2022

Listen to this episode on Apple Podcast,  Google Podcast, and Spotify too!

 

Episode Summary: 

A mom. A businesswoman. A marketing guru. A realtor. How does one do it all, being all the things? 

A privilege to have Jammyra, the Supermom on this podcast episode. Truly inspiring how she has overcome anxiety, depression, unworthiness, insecurities, self-sabotaging doubts, limiting beliefs. By being aligned and not conforming to society’s standards,  she found her own balance within. 

“We all strive for balance because we feel like balance is peace. And I think the main point of life is to be able to find peace as well as balance. We want everything to kind of be in alignment, for everything to flow. Instead of me placing so much energy into finding balance in society standards and terms, I've created a place of peace just for what works for me and my child.” - Supermom Jammyra



*Shameless Plug: 

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Show Notes

Emmelie De La CruzWe met what like two, three years ago and you’re doing all the things: mothering, being a real estate mogul, being a marketing mogul, being all the things. So for everybody on the podcast who doesn't know who you are, give us a little bit of that. 

Supermom Jammyra: I'm Jammyra supermom. I love that title most. I'm a mom. I actually am now licensed in California and Georgia. I own a marketing firm called Prestige Real Estate Solutions. We usually just deal with realtors, but we are expanding in January to everyone. So we're kind of turning into a multimedia marketing firm, which I'm extremely ecstatic about. That's like a little blurb. I feel like the podcast is short, so let me leave it there. Like I can go all day about me. 

Emmelie De La CruzI really wanted to bring you on the show because we just had a lot of conversations around this idea of balance and you run a bi-coastal business. You're putting your time between LA and Atlanta. You have a son, you have your own investments, you just have so many things going on that makes me ask how does she do it? How does she have a work-life balance? You're very, very, just transparent on your stories. This is not easy every day. I want to throw everything away. Talk about how you kind of have found your flow in motherhood and working, and then just all the things. 

Supermom Jammyra: I think the concept of balance. We all strive for balance because we feel like balance is peace. I think the main point of life is to be able to find peace as well as balance. We want everything to kind of be in alignment. I think that's the better word, everything to flow. To be honest, I'm in a state right now where I realize it doesn't exist, boundaries just don’t exist. instead of me placing so much energy into finding balance in society standards and terms, I've created a place of peace just for what works for me and my child. For example, I'm in LA probably now every other week. Say my son's at school here so he can't be with me. The way that I try to chop it up is, his dad gets him every other weekend and co-parenting is a whole another podcast. Usually, I'll try to leave that Wednesday that he gets him cause he gets him that Friday. He'll stay here with my family for a couple of days. So that gives me a strong five days. For us, that works cause he does not like being away from me. When I had to leave for a week he lost it. He was on FaceTime with me every day, telling me how upset he was and how I was no longer his best friend. And he was just not here for it. I would never do that again. I don't care what's going on. I think for me, the most important key to balance is alignment. You have to do as far as alignment, only you and God knows what that looks like for you. You cannot base that off of society’s standards. You will spend in that hamster wheel and that Ferris wheel over and over again, every time if you keep trying to align your life, like somebody else's, it's just not realistic. 

Emmelie De La CruzAnd I love that. Your life is between you and God because a lot of people just don't take enough time to even know what I'm what have I been called to do. So not only are they on this hamster wheel trying to find this fake balance, but they're also trying to find themselves in the process.

When I first met you, you were like, I don't know if I'm myself, I'm going to say like, I'm over here, I'm going to try and be you and I'm going to do everything but sell houses. I don't even want to do it.

Supermom Jammyra: I was in a season where I had worked behind the scenes so much to where one, I was comfortable. Two, I felt like it was almost a conflict of interest for me to go from this support role to over a hundred agents to going into sales. Because now we have mixing of databases because I've met so many people through working with other people. I felt like I don't even want to deal with the logistics of what that looks like. So I had to kind of go through, hire an attorney, go have everybody sign these affidavits. In order for me to even say, okay, I'm going to go ahead and get my license so I can start to sell. For me initially, that was extremely intimidating and I was completely against it. But what I realized is the amount of money that you're going to make selling real estate just trumps everything else. I don't care what anybody says. nIt gives you the flexibility to put that money into all the other things you want to do, whether it's a podcast, whether it's a blog whatever else it is that you want to focus on selling real estate just allows you the time and financial component to be able to do that. Now, running a multimedia company, and firm as far as transaction company and training and working on people's databases every day, it's time-consuming. Even when you build a team you're still managing it. Cause a lot of people are trying to work with you off the concept of “I want to work with her because it's her, I know her reputation”. Even though I started to build a team, it didn't matter. They still wanted to talk to me every day. And I'm like, I love the team, so y'all, don't have to talk to me. And they were like, no, we want to talk to you. We want to hear from you. That was the hardest part for me to be able to differentiate and separate. So once I realized I could and I said, all right, well, we're going to have to make this work for me because I'm losing it. 

Emmelie De La CruzTruly. And do you feel when you were in that season where you were kind of like, okay, I'm in this support role, I don't want to go into this other thing. Did you feel like there was another factor in terms of maybe people in your circle that were causing you to feel like you had to shrink or when you were about to hit a point?

Supermom Jammyra: When you built an identity based on being a support, nobody wants you to help. Everyone's uncomfortable when you move past that because that's what they're accustomed to you being and doing. That's something that you also can't take personally because you created that. That's one thing that I love about the place I'm at in my life is I take accountability for where I'm at now at that point, I'm like, yo, why does this person treat me like this? Why don't they just look at me? They only call me when they need help or something. There’s this girl and did this whole friend giving. I wasn't even invited when I'm on the phone with her everyday talking about work. You're not like I couldn't differentiate the two. Once I was able to kind of take those personal feelings out of it and say, you know what? You set the tone for how people treat you. You set the tone for what you allow, what you allow, and what you allow, expands. So I lost a lot of people this past year, setting new standards on creating my new identity for what I want to be for where I'm at in my life today. So yeah. I hope that answered that. 

Emmelie De La CruzTotally. The reason I asked you that is because I saw a lot of you in me. I've just came out of that season where it's like, oh, well I have everybody else build their brands. I'm behind the scenes on everybody else. I'm not the seventh entrepreneur I support. My therapist was just like, is that actually what you even really mean? Is that even what you are really like called to do? Are you called to be? Are you putting yourself there or are you letting people put you there?

Supermom Jammyra: It's almost you letting people put you there because a lot of times when your behind the scenes help, if you can help somebody create a six, seven-figure business, they're like, I have you, it's your validation. Then it's like, I love you so much to where I'll pay you. What I feel like you're worth, which sometimes it's more than you even might think you're worth. And you're like, oh, I'm not walking away from this. When I first started working with this person, I was making 50,000 a year with this contract. Now I'm making 200,000. Why am I leaving? Because you're not happy. You don't feel fulfilled. You're not able to fulfill your purpose on what you feel like you're supposed to be waking up and doing every day, this feels like work. It shouldn't. When you get to that point, it's like the money doesn't really matter. It's irrelevant. It's like, I know because I believe in myself enough to where I can make that. And more, as long as I'm operating and where my alignment is with God and what I've set forth for myself. And that's just where we're both at. 

Emmelie De La CruzAnd then you will shrink for so long. And the people around you will get so used to you being small, that the moment that you try to step into who you have been called to be it's like, who does she think she is? She thinks she's going. I built her. I made her if it wasn't for me, Well look, we ain't gonna talk about that. On this podcast today, we had that talk off.

Supermom Jammyra: People will say “I made you to death”. Someone could have invited you to a birthday dinner and said, come to my birthday dinner. At that birthday dinner, because of who you are, you made connections that right at the table, you sat there next to you and you sat there and talked to somebody and you said, oh my gosh, I love her outfit. And that turned into a meeting. And that meeting turned into a podcast and that podcast turned into a contract with Spotify. They’re going to take credit for it. And all you can say is that over there, let people be where they are, and you operate in where you're at because you can't control anybody and what they feel and went to what they feel like they deserve from you. And that's why I'm a huge component now of contracts. Let's write it out. Cause if it ain't written out, you ain't do shit. You ain't. You might've made the introduction. But you can't take credit for the work. That's what everybody wants to do is take credit for the work. If we don't have a contract, it doesn't exist. That's where I am, period.

Emmelie De La CruzHow has the transition been from working on some of the biggest real estate deals to working on some of the biggest estate transactions to then saying, okay, I'm going to go? Essentially start from scratch where my own license was under my own name. What was that like?

Supermom Jammyra: Overwhelming. I have a huge background with my cousin and I can say that on her, my cousin, Brandy, I started in the real estate industry with her. She gave me my start and she definitely trained me up the way I should go. We've serviced everybody from the Cardi B's and offsets to the mayors and everybody in Atlanta. So a lot of that's where I started. We built that together and, it was one of the most beautiful and needed opportunities that I've ever had. With that, a lot of people still timing to that. They're like, oh, a little Brandy. Oh. And I used to be upset. And I've had this conversation with her so I can say it now. I used to be so upset because I felt like I could not get away from her shadow. I just could not escape it, no matter how hard I work, no matter how different a road I tried to take from something she hadn't done, I could not get from under her shadow. It was suffocating because she's amazing but I don't want to be her. So can y'all please stop trying to make me be the new her? I don't want that for myself. Once I stopped caring about what other people, what I felt other people wanted or desired to get from me, I think that was the point in my career that everything just flipped because then it was like, what do you want? What's gonna make you happy. Now people can still think, oh, look a little Brandy you or I can say, look at LJ’s mama. Look at Jammyra, look at the woman she's become. That's your perception. Your perception is not my reality. That's where we are at. 

Emmelie De La CruzI want to ask you that because it could be scary to go from employee to entrepreneur or have this list and have to start from scratch. If this anxiety that you have like, am I going to be able to do in the same way? Am I going to be better? Am I going to be able to replace my income? Am I going to be able to take care of my kid? You start to have all these doubts and all these limiting beliefs that then start to kind of run your life.

Supermom Jammyra: That's my favorite line. It's ghetto. It is because it's almost like somebody asked me the other day.I actually was on another podcast and he asked me, “would you ever go work back in corporate America?” Because technically even working with Brandy wasn't corporate America, it was real estate. But before then I worked at RaceTrac corporate in their marketing department. It's funny because he was like, would you even, if you align your last role, be working under somebody else? And I said, no. I’m not going to work for anybody else. Why? Because I put a hundred percent of everything that I do. If I sit there and put a hundred percent into building somebody, else's brand business to a point where they can cut me and tell me what I'm worth based on their perception of me and not my work. Because that's what it is. I'm not putting myself back in that, because I'm always going to feel undermined. If I can't tell you, Hey, I charge this for this service. You're going to tell me, this is what I'm going to pay you for this service. I'm not going to feel valued for what I feel like it unless you're going to match it. But then I'm still on your core. I still have to do it the way you want me to do. And not the way that my hard work, my knowledge, my wisdom, my years of experience have told me to do it. So I'm still not operating in my alignment with what God said my purposes. And therefore, this is a waste of time. It's a, no, I can't do it. That's just where I'm at. This is the misconception I think of becoming wealthy or rich. We're not rich at all. but I think the misconception of that is once you get that, you're not broke. I still have my times where I'm like, what is this account doing? I don't have a two-person income. I can't look over at my husband or look over somebody and be like, you got it right now. Cause we’re kind of between closings like I don't have that.  Last December I gave my team bonuses and after I gave my team bonuses, I looked in my account. I was like, oh, we're not going to be able to do Disney like I thought this year for Christmas, but it was important to me that they knew I valued them because I had been in their position. It felt unvalued. My son still woke up with everything he wanted under the tree. It's a statement in which, as I said, I tell people all the time, you have to demand your value. You cannot let anybody place their beliefs or their perceptions of you and what your value is on you. 

Emmelie De La CruzI liked what you had said about you would never go back to work cause essentially you would have to do things their way and you have to get paid. What they think that your work now on the flip side, you being an employer of people, how does that translate to people on your team? 

Supermom Jammyra: Oh my gosh, they love it here. Everybody's not made to be an entrepreneur. Everybody's not made to be tied to that mindset. So I'm speaking to entrepreneurs. Let me say that because some people are like, I want a check. I want to make sure I got this amount of coming in on the first and the 15th. I can't gamble. It doesn’t even put me in a box where you think you can. No, I want my bonus Christmas bonus. So I think for me, with my staff, I'm just sometimes so myself, they tell me, please stop saying, thank you, please stop saying things. I tell them all the time, you don't have to do this. And they're like, well I do, as my job, you’re not entitled to anything. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. And you don't have to do it to the capacity in which you care about my reputation. This is my reputation. I built this. If y'all came to work tomorrow and said, I'm gonna have a margarita. I don't care what I say on the phone. Guess what? Nobody knows who you are. It's going to fall on me. But instead, y'all come here every single day. And y'all bust y'all's butts, poor me. I take that to heart and I want to make sure you never feel underappreciated so much. So if you come to me, you tell me Jammyra, I feel undervalued. This is what I feel like I should be getting paid and I can't pay you. I'm going to tell you, I can't pay you that. But I agree with you. You are worth exactly what you tell me. I'm not in the position to give you that. So until you can find something else, keep your job, but go find what you feel like you're worth because you're right. You deserve it. I'm not gonna fire you because you came and told me what you deserve. You deserve whatever you feel like. There's just this weird stipulation of the standard of saying, oh, I Googled what an executive assistant makes. So I'm not gonna pay you over $40,000 a year that I'm not going to tell you that you're worth $40,000 a year. That would be me telling you that you're scum. I would never.. So that's just, that's where I'm at. 

Emmelie De La CruzI really respected it too, because that's actually what happened at my last job. My role has changed. I want a raise. I feel like I should be making this. And my boss was like, listen, you're absolutely worth that. We got it. So what do we buy for this? I ended up leaving and finding another job, Just that validation of you're worth what you are asking for. Not making the person feel like, oh, you asked me for too some Crazy Gaslight employees to make them think you don't deserve more time off. You don't deserve a paid vacation. You don't deserve mental health days. You don't deserve this. If this person is building something for you and with you, then that's the least that you can do for them. And this is probably a conversation we might have on another podcast. 

Supermom Jammyra: I'm scared of scale. That's a real thing I'm scared to have a staff of 50 or a hundred. It's mandatory for them to take mental health days once a week. Don't ask me about it. I got too much on my plate to take off. You have to take your day and guess what? You can't log into the portal. Sorry. Ma'am, it's mandatory. I never want anybody to feel as burnt out as I felt in my last role, you get them to end to feel like they can't say no. You are not my slave. I understand the concept of manager bossy. I understand the concept of that employee worker, but at the same time, you can tell me no. And you can tell me I'm uncomfortable. If I have a conversation with you about something you can say tomorrow, I'm not comfortable having that conversation. Tell me I'm not overstepping your boundaries. You're a human, you have boundaries. You're a woman. You're a man. You have boundaries that even as your boss, I need to learn how to accept what those boundaries are and figure out how to fit it into my whatever it is that we're doing. Because if not, you got to go and that's okay, too, right? if you're bound, if I can't accept your boundaries, then guess what? You need to find a new role. And I need to make sure that you do because I need to be able to accept whatever those boundaries are. Two of the girls on my staff are moms. I can't have more than that on staff because I'm a mom. And guess what? If they call me and say, Jammyra, I got to take today off. Cause my son got a hand-to-foot, mouth virus. You got to take the whole week off. I gotta take the whole week off. I don't care if you're at home, you work from home. That baby needs you to be there for that baby. If I have a staff of seven and we have a five-day workweek, then those other five people gotta be able to rotate those five days. You get them. I can't have more than two moms or single dads. It's not realistic for me where I'm at in my business right now. I would love to hire some more single moms. I would love to have a whole staff of women. It's not realistic for me. And if one of the other women on my staff said, they want to have a baby. Guess what? I got to hire somebody else too. I always tell them to be honest with me about that kind of stuff. Don't wait and tell me you’re pregnant. Talk to me about what's going on so that I can play in a PR you know, accordingly. 

Emmelie De La CruzSo that partnership is really missing though. I feel like there's probably a lot of CEOs who don't think like you,  who feel like, I pay my staff a check and they just need to do what it is. What made you have this mindset? Was it because you were an employee and you were like, you know what? I want to create a different environment?

Supermom Jammyra: It was that. And I think the fact that I worked for my cousin and I knew how much she loved me. My blood, like my mentor before I started working. I knew that she loved me but I couldn't understand why she treated me the way she treated me in a sense of being an employee. The way that she was able to cut off family and employees. And I said, no, I want my employees to be my family. I don't want to treat my family as an employee. I want to flip that. I want them to feel like they can call me. And If they talking to me about something that they're dealing with, whether depression, postpartum, suicidal, and I can't handle it, guess what, we're we to go find you a therapist. This is why I don't want to scale. Cause if it gets too much, then we got a higher up, we don't have to have an in-house therapist, all that's going on in the world today. For me, my little family, like we good. As I said, they love it here. It's not ghetto here. We have margarita Mondays, that's paperwork day. 

Emmelie De La Cruz:So the question is that what would it take? What do you think you need to work on in order to get you to a place where you feel like you’re ready to? 

Supermom Jammyra: I don't know. I'm going to talk to Phil. I'll be honest it's because I want to do so much more. I want to act, I want to do so many things. We making good money. We doing all right. I think that's the thing too. I was telling them one of the girls who I coached, she's a realtor. She said she felt guilty because she felt lazy for not wanting to be number one in her office. She was like, I'm okay with being number 13. That was an accomplishment for me. She was like, my dad made me feel guilty for not wanting more. And I said, sweetheart, it's not that you don't want more. It's just that everybody should not have to want to be number one. We get so caught up and stuck in society’s standards of what is best instead of creating our own standard for what is best. And I understand we get pigeonholed in it.  But like I said, I think that really takes maturity in. It's been maturity through my mental health process, as well as my walk with God to say, Where are you really getting your validation from? Are you getting it from these people who are giving you an employee of the month? Are you getting it from God saying, I'm proud of you by showing you signs and bringing people into your life to validate that? What are you getting that from? And I think once I got to a place where I was like, you know what, I'm proud of me and my son is taken care of and my bills are paid and I got a little bit of extra to go and do an investment property. And you know, My 30th birthday is coming up. I want to go buy that new Mercedes AQE CPA. Can I buy it? Yeah, you can buy it. I'm there and that's okay. I just really pray, especially for black women that we get to a point where we're, we feel like we're enough even if society doesn't because I feel like. That's the number one cause of depression for us, especially in Atlanta, because Atlanta is a place that's very materialistic. If you're not in certain circles, then you're not making the money. If you're not doing this, then you're not doing that. I really pray to God that we get to a point where we say, you know what, no, this is enough for me. I'm happy here. And me and my little business it don't have to be a fortune 500 company and everybody's taken care of. And it's good. So yeah, that's grandma’s last bit over here flapping the whole time. I  keep looking at you and I'm like, I'm so proud of you. I know how long you've been wanting to,  I'm proud of you. It's the initiation. Even when you were at a point where you said “I don't know if I want to be an entrepreneur anymore, I really just want to get a check. I want to just make sure my bills are paid”. Knowing that for all the two things, you're like, no, this isn't going to work I think it was you feeling the pressure of being like you never let me down. You never let me down. You felt like I was going to be let down because you changed your mind. For anybody that I consider a friend, a sister, a black woman, or a sister in Christ, all I ever want Why do we always have to be like, okay, I'm going to go sell real estate today. That's all you can do. If you go sell real estate, why can't you say, you know what? I want to sell it for these tracks next week. Are your bills paid sis? Is your credit good? Are you okay if you check, we are until we can change our mind, we can't grow without change? We can't as humans, you can't grow without change. So if I change and I can't feel accepted, even in my own circle of people with that change, how can I grow and feel supported? You can't, you can't feel supported. So I'm proud of you. 

Emmelie De La CruzI think this is just such an important conversation to have because when I tell you that and everybody who's in this room, like for the podcast, I fought so long against what I wanted to do. Cause it's like, well, I have to keep this person happy and I have to do this for this other person. As a woman, you just feel like I can't, I'm such a bad person. If I choose me or you just start with your life, oh, I don't want to let this person down.  I don't want to disappoint this person or, oh, but  I just changed my mind and you just keep feeling like a failure every time we try to choose. For the last two years, I've been just on this emotional roller coaster asking what the fuck am I doing then I can't change my mind. And I said that I was going to do this.  I told everybody, I was going to do this. At one point you just get so low that you’re at your wit's end. It doesn’t even matter at this point.  No matter who you lose along the way, where you go, you just have to start to build yourself up from scratch. And like the people who are going to be there for you and who, God places in your life. This last year has been so dark for me, but it's been the brightest as well,  but it's definitely situations like that, that I remember where it's like, oh, well, I'm going to be in real state and I'm going to do this. And Jammyra is going to help me. And then I'm like, Hmm, actually I don't want to do this shit. This is actually a lot of work. It's crazy., it's just like, how do I go to the person who gave me the opportunity and be like, oh, well, I decided I'm going to change my mind and I'm going to go do something else. All of these conflicting feelings, as you're starting to really find your identity of who you are and you just feel so ashamed to go to people and tell them what's going on because you're the friend that's supposed to have it all together. You’re the strong friend, the strong mom, and it's just like, how can you tell the people who look to you for strength that you are weak? 

Supermom Jammyra: This is why these podcasts and these platforms are so important. When people look like us and who are willing to be transparent, I have to be honest. I had to, I reached out to my childhood pastor.This is the first time I've ever said this. So I had LJ and he was three. His father and I had split. When we split, I just felt like my son would be better if I wasn't here because I did not get to give him the concept of family. I couldn't give him a mom and dad in the same household, which is all I ever wanted as a kid. So therefore it's better if he can find a wife, and then LJ can have both parents. He'll be happy in a healthy household. He gets to have that. Why? Because that's all I wanted. That's one thing I feel like I never got. I had a suicide attempt. I literally had lower tests. I took literally the whole bottle then I had passed out. The crazy part is my mom. Let me tell you about God's grace. Let me tell you how God works. My mom and my grandmother had come into town and had told him that they wanted to surprise me at the house while I was at work. So they went and got the key to the house and came to surprise me and found me on the ground. So much so they were able to save my life in that. I realized that there is no goal. There is no aspiration. There is nothing that we can place on ourselves or that people can place on us that's big enough to where if we don't reach it, we don't deserve to fulfill our kingdom assignment. I don't care what it is because there's always a way around it to get to that kingdom assignment. Real estate is not my kingdom assignment. What else do I want to ask them? It's not my kingdom assignment is to reach people on another level. And no matter what I decide to do to make income, God's going to take me through. That's why I've been through it in order to be able to give that testimony, to show grace, grace praying your whole last season was God's grace. So 10 years from now, you can look at your, this whole last season of your life and watch his hand all over it. You can watch his hand in Atlanta. You can watch his hand in Dallas. You can watch his hand when you wanted to travel. When you wanted to do real estate, when you wanted to do marketing, when you wanted to have a baby, you can watch his hand all over it and say, there's nothing I can't get through. There's nothing  I can't get through. LJ, my son, he's my best friend. Y'all know he's my best friend, man. I don't know what he would do without me. I thought it was me without him. I didn't know what I would do without him. Now. I don't know what he would do without me. We are like this. We are so entwined in spirit. It ain't even got nothing to do with the whole mommy son. Like our spirits. I was in LA having a breakdown in a hotel room. He FaceTimed me. I answered it over there on the table. So he wouldn't see my face. And he was like, mommy, you been on my heart all day today. I just want you to know. I love you. And I'm so grateful and thankful to have you as my mom, that's intertwined and spirit that's God's grace. That's God's grace. And when you can really sit there and watch the way that God's hand is over your life, there's no way that you can feel that a dollar amount, a position can give you purpose because the purpose is in the experiences in which God allows you to have so that you can make an impact.That is where I'm at. And I'm just, I'm so proud of us. I'm proud of us. I'm really excited for this next season because I think from with the generation before us, I think the misconceptions they have is that they can't show their flaws because it shows weakness, it shows something's wrong. I can't talk about therapy and being on, being on meds. After I had LJ and I got on postpartum and I started going to therapy, I got put on medicine. Anti-depressants. No. I just knew that I'm a crazy person. I am psychotic. I am on me to level out my emotions just so I can get through a therapy session I feel like that's what I thought. And it's crazy because now I'll tell somebody not only that I was on meds, what meds I took, how often I took them, and why it was so essential for that season of my life. People need to hear that. People need to understand that and say, oh wow, the girl who just signed a six 50 dude with the target, she was in therapy three times a week. She had to talk to somebody outside of her family members that were there to support her. I'm just so excited about what God is doing for our circle, what God is doing for our generation, and for the people with which we've been aligned to make purpose. Because alignment ain't just about us. It's about community, right? So I'm just excited about where we're going from here. And that you took this step because this is needed. This is important. 

Emmelie De La CruzI mean, that’s part of my assignment, cause you just feel so lonely because nobody talks about these things. Nobody's transparent. Everybody is perfect. Everybody has the husband, everybody has the house, everybody's got the 6, 7, 8 figure businesses. 

Supermom Jammyra: I'm so like a shameless friend. It's like, what can y'all say about me? I don't pay my bills. What y'all going to say, I can knock your head off. I'll break your heart. I'm out of shape. It's a great place to be. And that comes with aids and acceptance, but it's a great place to be where it's like, I really don't care what y'all have to say. I just care about what God has me here for. Because before I leave, I want to make sure that that kingdom assignment was fulfilled. And if you ain't heard nothing else today, people are always trying to figure out what their purpose is. Find out what your kingdom assignment is. Be so in tune with the spirit of God and y'all, I cuss, I drink, okay, let's not, y'all gonna follow me after this. Don't be alarmed. You gonna see some stuff, which is why I got a low falling. When I keep it low and taste, I'll put my page on private real quick. Y'all going to see some stuff.  You're going to have to learn to accept me for who I am and where I'm at. Somebody asked me yesterday, too. Jammyra who are the three most influential people as far as celebrities in your life. And I said, The third person, I said, Cardi B and oh my God. Do y'all not understand that she quit stripping. At 23, she had saved $20,000. I said, Then she had her number one record after looking like a fool on love and hip hop. She had a number one record at 25 and then has had a number one record every year since she was the first person to do it. And turn that into a multimillion-dollar brand and name to where she will never be replicated ever again. What do you mean? Why is she not influential in being herself? That's the whole point? She didn't, She didn't change and pretended to be somebody else. Guess what, I'm still going to buy her next record and blasted in the car while I sip something. I think that that's beautiful. And if there's anything that I've taken from her is that you can reach whatever level you want to reach, being authentic and true to who you are. And the more you change, the more that's why people are committing suicide and getting and dying off over, Like overdosing and stuff like that because they built their reputations off of being someone other than who they are. And that pressure of keeping that and obtaining that is so exhausting and overwhelming. And I'm not, I'm not there. Because I realized that who I am, people gonna payout of the 5,000 followers. My engagement rate is high as hell. I can literally post, I could sit here, grab my phone right now and say, teaching the class tonight at seven, 10 slots, there'll be sold out by seven. What? Doesn't two hours. That's what my name holds weight. That's all I've ever wanted for the people who actually know me for who I am to find my value. 

Emmelie De La CruzSo the last question, let the people know what's next for you? Where can they find you? 

Supermom Jammyra: I'm going to figure out how to scale my business. I might not want to but I am going to allow my social media page to just grow as it flows and, and reach as many people as it's, as it's needed and necessary, because I really have to clean it up a little bit, but it's fine. But I also feel like, I mean, Acting has always been a dream of mine and it's something that I bought myself in and said, oh, you'll never be able to be there. Even when I got sick and gained a hundred pounds, I was like, oh, now you'll never be able to do this. Not only are you light-skinned and you got acne, but dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. I've just talked myself out of so many years. And I actually met a huge director last time I was in LA and she was like we have a casting call tomorrow, just come through and just see what happens, girl I got called back for one of the biggest shows, literally on TV right now. It's one of those things where it's like, sometimes that's all you need, right. is for God to say, don't box yourself in baby. I got you. Do you want to go there? I got you. Do you want to go here? I got it.

Emmelie De La CruzJam, what the people don't know is you went to LA to pursue real estate. You were still in your current assignment, serving the people that you were serving. And then God said, but here's the door for what I know that's in your heart. That's what people don't realize is that sometimes it's like, oh, well I want to attain this thing. I have no idea how it was going to happen. So now I'm just going to sit in a room and, and be miserable about it. When you decided, you know what, God has me in this season, serving other people who have real estate, I'm going to go back and forth with LA. I'm going to try to figure this situation out as a single parent. Oh. And you know what God's going to do. He's in black and because of your obedience, here's a note, a little roll on a ship on a big ship.

Supermom Jammyra: So y'all go follow me at Jammyralove on Instagram. That's the only place I will really be. So that's all you need to pay attention to. I do have a podcast coming out too. So you'll be on there. I know I'm super excited about that. It's called the whip love podcasts. I think it's going to be really dope. I think I wanted to kind of base it off of the fact that God is love and technically everything we do is centered around it. So how do we talk about topics that are taboo to talk about, but also centered around the book? Right. Um, so I'm really excited about that. And then before I get off of here, I do want to give a huge shout-out to my best friend Paris. And it's because we’ve been talking a lot about grace and how God's got us and all this, but let me tell you something, watch who you have around you. Um, and, and, And watch who you can trust. Because I know for a fact I would not be here without her. She moved here and moved there at a very pivotal point in my life and to where I didn't, I didn't know what I was going to do. And she had my back. And so, although I didn't have my husband and I didn't have, you know what I mean, all these things that I felt like I needed to have, and I must have in order to reach this next place in my life, God said, you got your sister from back home, your girlfriend, your friend,? This is all you need right now. And She's got you. You got her. And like the shit, we've been through together. Oh my God.  I just know for a fact that I would not be here and would not even be able to move to the next level if it was not for her. So y'all make sure you got good girlfriends that you can love and trust, and that you don't feel judged, and that you feel like you can truly be yourself and be authentic around. We have a really good circle of people around us and that's the reason we can be who we are and be where we're at. So even in our dark seasons, God be like, you know, it might be a call from me and be like, girl, what are you doing? I don't really want to talk right now. Just make sure you have those people that are going to call and check on you when you don't even feel like checking on yourself. And I'm very, very thankful for her. And like the last three podcasts, I shot at her out and I want to shout her out on the next six. Okay. She deserves her flowers and I want to give her that cause I just wouldn't be here without her. S

Emmelie De La CruzY'all make sure that y'all follow jam social out. We'll make sure that we add all her stuff in the show notes for you guys to be able to follow her. I'm just so grateful for this conversation and for your transparency. I know that you aren't going to just free some people with this. So just thank you. I love you. Thanks for having me. 


*Shameless Plug: 

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